Post I tried to add to a website regarding Michael Richards Latest news headlines:

http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2006/11/tmzs_expletivel.html

I agree with a few of the comments that the N word is as commonly used as the F word. A majority of comedians (Chris Rock, Aaron McGruder’s "The Boondocks") over the last decade and surely before have refered to the N word as a type of person (usally black) that is a disgrace to ones society. (The thought being that there are black people and there are niggers, two seperate types of people not one and the same) Weather you agree with this or not the point I want to make is that assuming that one person using the word nigger is insulting all black people is a racist generlization in itself. Just as if I was to call Carlos Mencia a beaner would that make Gorge Lopez a beaner? Just because I called Carlos Mencia a beaner does that mean he is one? People have to know themselves and not be derailed by others. If you called a me a giraffe would I cry about it? No! Call me what ever you want, I know that I am a dog!

I wrote this down one night while I was sleeping in my dorm, It was either something I spoke in my sleep or was saying in my dreams. I do not know what it means, nor do I remember the context of the dream. I believe I was saying it to a girl that I may have been hitting on.

Nobody runs, like you raspberry hide.

Anyone ever heard this before or had a similar dream. Is it from a song? Please let me know by email or guestbook.

Prose I wrote free flowing as I rode home on the first train ride of my life (Pacific Surflainer- Amtrack) after sending my sister off to the Persian Gulf for the second time in a year. (Navy):
This may have some errors this is the rough free flow draft re-typed. I could not figure out some of the words so please excuse the crappiness. Please send me any comments or suggestions.

Night time - heading north on the train.

Continuous, silent rocky swaying
Charges past the unfamiliar landscape
Strangely familiar through the lives of others
It rolls on by.
Past the lives of strangers we may never know
Lives just as spectacular, delicate or dull as our own
It rolls on by and stops
Only to gather and discharge strangers
of the connected web of similar discontinuous lives
Our large worl we make it so small trapped in our web
Restricted viewpoints granted limited access
to strangers rolling though able to pear through translucent mirror
Darkness of night masks like a dream the self reflected scenery
Two hemispheres split in two reavealing what the other cannot
we zip on through unphased and unphasing
transported, can we collect lessons of the lives we pass through voyeristically?
What lessons would be available?
Similar travelers?? zip by more alien than it scremlines??
What have they gathered?
Vocal Vibrations fill our ears, normal phenomenon
enacted in an unfamiliar frame. Shall our transaction of words crash and collide and get losed?? with our unwehitting hosts? Shall we be taken to a new level of understanding and transcendence?
When shall the journey end?
How shall the whirlwinds of our travels be disperced when our destination is reached and we are expelled ore exchanged as cargo?

Poem I found from freshman year in HS about one of my favorite camp sites growing up called Hoogee's in the Angeles National Forest of the Chantry Flats ranger station. (exit 210 go north on Azusa):

The River - March 1997

Climbing, I go quickly to the river.

Slowly, -- the leafy foliage damp with morning dew, the crashing cascades and the rushing river whisper to me.

The rays of morning sun breaking through the tall, tall trees,

The frosty scene as the dew and dust settle in the growing sunlight,

An acorn falling, tumbling down from teh broad branches rushing, crunching, crashing through the leaves on branches.

it hits the ground with a muffled crunch.

I wakl across the we stones, the water rushing under.

I stand at the side of the river on top of the ridge and hill

listening to the loud encompassing silence.

Alright. I haven't posted something on this page in almost a year. A lot has happened in the last year. Too much to cover in one post. Most recently, I have graduated from college. It happens to a lot of people but today as I am writing this and as I have realizing the last couple of weeks and months. It doesn't happen to everyone, and it is a big step. A milestone if you will. Well anyway I am done with my undergraduate career and only wish that I didn't have class to impede my social life. Oh well. I missed out some because I was always working hard on school, had a girlfriend most of the time, and was too involved with every club known to man, I was president of my fraternity, I was manager of a facility 2 years in a row, I was semi active in 4 or 5 other clubs that I really could have done without. But anything less would not have been my style. And I would not be who I am to day. Is that a good thing? Too late now. All I can do is make the most of what these experiences have taught me. And that is what I plan to do.

I have a job and have not started it yet. I spent college building my skill set and resume to land the job I wanted. I fully succeeded in that goal. I do not think any of my friends were more equipped to find a job, some might have better grades to show off but nothing else better than me I think. My hard work paid off there. I hope that I like what I am doing and if I don't, I am able to find something that I like better and will be satisfied with.

Some of the places I've been in the last 3 months: the Yucatan, Mexico (Cancun, Cozumel, Merida, Ticul, Uxmal, Chitzen-Itza, Muna, Cozumel, Playa Del Carmen), Vegas (Monte Carlo, Luxor, Hard Rock, Rio), San Francisco (hiking in the redwoods, all the sites, Grand Street Jazz Festival, Union Square, Westin St, Francis, Legion of Honor, Painted Rock, PCH, ), San Luis Obispo, San Diego (Del Mar Race Track, Chula Vista, PetCo Park), and of course all over Los Angeles and Orange Counties, San Diego County as well. That's a Start. More to come.

Absence extinguishes small passions and increases great ones, as the wind blows out a candle, and blows in a fire.
--De La Rochefoucauld.

Woooo! These last two weeks have been great. I got awarded Greek Man of the Year at LMU for 2002! My fraternity was awarded Outstanding Brotherhood Programming and Outstanding Cultural Programming for the whole Greek community! My bro was awarded Greek Valedictorian, Scholar of the Year for LMU, Scholar of the Year for the College of Science and Engineering, Outstanding Performance in Mathematics for all four years. My fraternity had its first Formal and a successful Regional party. I was a big winner these last two weeks. I, along with a team of 3 of my classmates, also placed 1st in a surveying (land surveying that is . . . you know - engineering) competition for ASCE (American Society of Civil Engineers) at the regional conference at UCI. I was accepted into a service organization, Sursum Corda, and I was also hired as the new manager of the McKay Snack Shop (a snack retail facility on campus), where I will be basically be in charge of running the whole facility. SO COOL! I have also been getting a lot done. This whole last week we had interviews to hire our assistant managers, that was a long and tiring process. But we hired some good people. =]. Yes, I am happy! And I can’t wait to see SPIDER-MAN the movie. Aww, man I already pre-purchased my tickets. Lates

This is corny yet frighteningly profound

What we can learn from dogs . . .

The lounge life is cool - some day i will revamp my site and it will be in the theme of the 60s lounge movement. I'll call my site "SlutMonKey's Lounge" or "The SlutMonKey LoUnGe"
Whatcha think?
I'm gonna set up my room in my mom's house with this theme too. its gonna be great. I love design and the lounge era is one of my favorites, along with art deco. The sleek, functional, clean look is totally me. If you ever find some books or cool art pieces with these qualities hit me up. Right now I am gonna go look on Ebay or Yahoo for some cool stuff. Late.

PS - I got my palm read this past week and it was mildly amazing how accurate the reading was that i got (my friend Jimmy from school did it - he is not a professional). He told me somethings that i always knew about myself but coming from someone else these things were quite powerful. He told me that I choose my life and because of this I have been relatively content, but I am sometimes overly cautious and think myself out of goodtimes. I need to not be so calculating all the time and allow myself to live and experince life as it comes once in a while, rather than always being safe and content. Otherwise i will never be able to be truely happy or let others make me happy. I need to get out of my comfort zone and as Brad Pitt's character says in Fight Club "JUST LET GO." I have a good understanding of myself but this understanding has made me beliefe that it is best to always pre-plan my life. That's all well and good but I don't want that boring life. I am an adventureous person. I need to start letting things happen and making them happening rather than avoiding the possiblilty of such things happening because I am unsure of the consequences, time commitment or feelings and emotions i might put into them. Do don't think! I need to not let life pas me by because I am afraid to chase it down. I feel good things coming.

Mark your callendar for the party of the year - April 19th - at the Crystal Park Casino
ROUTE 86
CLICK HERE TO PARTY WITH THE GENTLEMAN OF SIGMA LAMBDA BETA

BEER TROUBLESHOOTING

This is a vauble piece of information I am profiding to you, for FREE. I reccomend you print it out and carry it with you in your wallet for anytime you might be under the influence. You are welcome.

Excerpt from an email my mom sent me today . . .
"Did your sister tell you the cat was in the bathroom one day, standing on the bathroom scale with all 4 feet, looking down at the scale????"

I guess my cat is feeling the push of American society!

here is the link to my family friends new website about Mexican Sports - in English y Espanol
check it out DEPORTES MEXICO

more intersting stuff from another Larry day:

The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway.
--Henry Boye

An autobiography is only to be trusted when it reveals something disgraceful. A man who gives a good account of himself is probably lying, since any life when viewed from the inside is simply a series of defeats.
--George Orwell

A witty saying proves nothing.
--Voltaire

There is one certain means by which I can be sure never to see my country's ruin -- I will die in the last ditch.
--William Of Orange

Every man I meet is in some way my superior.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
--P. J. O'Rourke

Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go in.
--Napoleon Bonaparte

Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.
--Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A. A. Milne

Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond the pain.
--Bartholomew

What shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?
--Mark 8:36

Years wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.
--Samuel Ullman

I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.
--John Burrough

Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate, or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.
--Henry Miller

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.
--Ambrose Redmoon

As long as anyone believes that his ideal and purpose is outside him, that it is above the clouds, in the past or in the future, he will go outside himself and seek fulfillment where it cannot be found. He will look for solutions and answers at every point except where they can be found -- in himself.
--Erich Frohm

You are on your way to becoming
the person you were meant to be.
Have faith as you go on your journey
though the end may be so hard to see.

If you feel you are losing direction,
that your footsteps are losing their way,
let your heart be the guide that will lead you
to keep you from going astray.

Remember - God always is with you
if ever you should need a friend,
to help with the burdens you carry
and guide you to peace in the end.

© 2000 ~ Tom Krause
All Rights Reserved
http://www.ishaah.com/Bcome.htm

Tonight I went out with my sister (22) - who is one of my best friends
-- She motivates me and I admire her for her strength and for being the person that she is
Some how that relates to the events that transpired this evening . .
Tonight was not an unordinary evening nor was it an extrodinary one.
It was, however; a memorable one.
I haven't seen my sister in over 2 months. But still we havent been near (geographically) in close to 4 or 5 years.
So, she is home for a short period before she goes over-seas (she is an Ensign in the Navy)
In High School i often tagged along with her and her friends, so I have become a welcome member of their group and often join them on their "reunions" whenever my sister, Stephanie came back to town. This way Steph can hang out with me and her friends during our limited time together.
This brings us to tonight.
We went over to her friend Jen's house too celebrate Jen's birthday. We prepartied before goin to some fancy club.
21 and over Club that is.
That wouldn't be so bad but they scan ID's so my "ID" had 0 ZERO chance of gettin my ass in that door.
What my crazy ass sister and I worked up is that I would use HER MILITARY ID.
Her military ID.
OK.
lets see she is 5'5" im almost 6ft - I'm 180lbs she is not even CLOSE. Oh yeah . . .
SHE IS A GIRL - and her name STEPHANIE is clearly printed on the ID. Her sex however is not. (loop hole)
Yeah so if you never try things will never go your way.
so i went for it - I stepped up to the lady carding and handed her the ID
She looks at it - smirks
flips it over and looks at the back - looks at me and says " You're Stephanie??!"
I say "what" -- She repeats "You're Stephanie?"
"Yeah" I reply.
Hmm she says ---- ok sign your name here.
"OH CRAP!!!" i think -- yeah, i tried to sign my sisters signiture - i havent written cursive since the second grade , I am screwed. By this time i was nervous, it was cold, and i was signing at chest level. Needless to say i totally F*(&*^ up her signature. It looked like homer simpson signing a bar tab. The lady then proceded to kick my ass to the curb. DOH!

PLAN B : Sneak in
There was a back door i scouted before we went in - i noticed it wasnt closed. -- but i accidently closed it after peaking in. No prob we would just have my sis' friends open it for us. So that's what we did. It was so smooth. They opened the door and we slithered in like snakes. We started celebrating our smooth operation. But, our celebration was short lived.
Next thing i know i see a flashlight flicked at my face from my right and it was that bitch that booted me to curb earlier. Double DOH!! When i noticed it was her i just walked straight toward the front door as she tailed my ass. IF i had stopped she probibly would have stuck that thing somewhere unpleasant, that's how close she was. When i got out side she tells me "If i ever see you in here again ill arrest you for trespassing."

In retrospect, i could have had it a lot worse. There were cops all over. I could have been fined or had some kind of hassel from the cops. Not to mention getting my sis in some major trouble. But i tried, and nothing bad happened. I had a cool time with my sis and we spent the rest of the night talking and catching up. I really respect my sis. She is one of the smartest people i know and the most deep conversationalist ever.
Steph this one is for you. Best of luck over seas. I love Ya.

I am on a quest. These last few days a lot has been going through my head. I have been focusing on what it is that I really want. I have been concentrating on realizing the things I lost over the last few years. I am in college - I thought I would be expanding my mind but instead I feel like I am imploding on myself. I have lost the passion for the things that used to drive me. I have lost motivation, balance and action in my life. Many of the things that I have cherished in the past have become foreign to me. I love school and the people around me. I have been maturing and growing in some ways - I have been learning a lot in classrom. Facts data and methods. and in life too. I have been turning into an adult. And sadly a lot of the time in out lives that means loosing imagination, creativity, passion and verve for life. But I feel I have abandoned the things near and dear to my heart. These last few days have been a wonderful time of reflection and refocusing of what is important to me and what I need to be doing. I have been focusing on getting back to the basics. I wish to restore the passion verve and drive in my life. I have regained the focus I had once before. I know what I must do, what is commanded of me, I have been motivating myself and discussing it with people around me. This is a critical time in my life. I must press forward onto the right path and make all the right turns and stops along the way. This is an exciting time in my life. Even though it is important and hard I am lighthearted about it. As my motivation I must remember to do what I my will tells me. To not be such a lazy ass. And to Force my self to try new challenges and get out of my comfort zone. I will experience life as there is no replay, this is not a rehearsal. I will live my days so as to regret nothing. I will keep in mind the quote of Voltaire from Candide "We must cultivate our garden." Happiness is easily obtained. But do not strive for it, do not look for it; simply live your life and do what is commanded of you. Remember to be considerate. Start the day right. smile and be happy. move on. be humble. help others. Scout Law - ULTIMATELY YOU KNOW THE ANSWER!! don’t fool yourself. The worse thing you can ever do is lie to yourself and not learn from your mistakes. LOVE remember to love, do things out of love and for love . . . . . . .

QUOTES for reflection . . ..

Egotism is nature's compensation for mediocrity.
L. A. Safian


Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
Helen Keller


Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
Thomas A. Edison


It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth -- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up -- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.


Thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations, and thou shalt be called, the repairer of the breach, the restorer of paths to dwell in.
Isaiah 58:12

AIM chat about my personality and some of my core beliefs - this is only the start - one level of ME. I am one confusing fucker.
-------------------------
Zoya: hey why DO they call u raven?
Larry: that’s my nickname
Zoya: I know that
Larry: Line Name
Zoya: I’m asking how u got it
Zoya: or why
Larry: I chose it
Zoya: why did u choose raven
Larry: it has a lot of symbolism that I feel describes/represents me
Zoya: such as?
Zoya: darkness?
Larry: mysterious, often misunderstood, solitude, fortitude, Master of ones destiny, silent witness to the world, messenger . . .
Larry: they are unique and different - like me
Larry: it’s my "familiar"
Larry: I share a lot of characteristics with cordaivaphiliacs
Larry: I am my own person
Larry: I like being different but myself
Larry: in general I don’t care what others think - at least I wont let that stop me from acting the way I want
Zoya: I see
Zoya: haha I know trust me
Zoya: hey did u listen to the song yet?!
Larry: I have a certain hatred for the normal and mainstream
Zoya: hatred?
Larry: dislike
Larry: animosity
Zoya: why
Zoya: why does it matter, if that's how people want to be
Larry: hatred is too strong
Zoya: maybe they're just being themselves too
Larry: no not towards people
Zoya: u mean society?
Larry: towards conformity and the boring norm - I like change and variety
Zoya: u know you are just like my cousin...I had like a three hour talk with him about all this stuff last night
Zoya: u would like him a lot
Larry: I need more than what’s on the surface level of things
Larry: that’s what the norm is
Larry: the surface level
Zoya: I think everyone deep down needs that though
Larry: well I'm not satisfied with it
Larry: some people are
Larry: there is so much more why would I want just that
Zoya: u shouldn't want just that
Zoya: no one should
Larry: exactly
Larry: some people do though
Larry: listen to one type of music
Zoya: I think a lot of people pretend to be satisfied with just that cuz that's what society has taught them
Larry: never exploring anything different
Larry: exactly
Zoya: and those who truly are satisfied with that...just don't really understand that there is more to themselves
Larry: that’s where the animosity comes in
Larry: its almost pathetic to me
Zoya: no need for animosity...my cousin said the exact same thing
Zoya: people live their lives in different ways
Larry: but not that hostile
Zoya: you might want to teach them and get frustrated that they don't see beyond it
Zoya: but some people are just happy with the way things are
Larry: I don’t try to teach anything
Zoya: and I think in the end it all comes down to that...its important
Zoya: well want them to realize then I don't know
Larry: I just show them - bring it to there knowledge
Larry: if they aren’t interested that’s their loss
Zoya: and let them do what they want it
Zoya: exactly
Larry: I try to promote awareness
Larry: not change
Zoya: I think that's what everyone should do
Larry: I just want you to at least be aware
Zoya: you in the general sense
Zoya: or you as in me?
Zoya: is there one thing you can do or be doing that just likes totally makes you lose yourself
Larry: no general
Zoya: random question huh?
Larry: rock climbing - some books
Larry: any type of outdoor exertion
Larry: talking about things like this
Zoya: ya
Zoya: I think for me
Zoya: its music
Zoya: and sitting by myself somewhere just beautiful
Zoya: like a lake...or an overlook anything
Zoya: but I love talking
Larry: being in the wilderness is where it’s at for me
Zoya: I love it when it’s just aesthetic to me
Zoya: its calms me
Larry: a quote from candides VOltaire says it all for me
Zoya: when I used to visit I used to go out here all the time to the lake
Zoya: what?
Larry: Voltaire’s Candide that is
Zoya: what's the quote
Larry: ever read the book?
Zoya: oh and ART
Zoya: no sorry
Zoya: art makes me lose myself too
Zoya: which is why I love museums...
Larry: "We Must Cultivate Our Garden"
Larry: anything of beauty - i.e. museums
Zoya: that is a very nice quote
Zoya: that's true
Zoya: I love architecture
Larry: if you don’t read the book it’s hard for you to understand it
Larry: me to
Zoya: isn't the garden your mind?
Zoya: or your soul
Larry: that’s why I’m going Civil Engineering
Zoya: or your life
Larry: if you want to break it down like that it could be
Larry: but in a more basic form
Zoya: or the world
Zoya: wow it could mean a lot actually
Larry: they were actually working in a garden
Larry: it basically means
Larry: happiness comes through the simplicity of things
Zoya: ya it does
Larry: like I told you I am always most happy when I am handling my shit
Larry: that’s what it means
Larry: do what life requires of you not all this other bullshit
Larry: not having a nice house
Larry: or going to snobby parties
Larry: or having power
. . . . . .